: Covid-19 weeknotes 22

Published at
Friday 21st August, 2020
  1. We’ve passed half a year in whatever we’re calling this, lockdown plus or lockdown minus or lockdow nouvelle.

  2. The NHS tells me that a human fetus at this point would be about a foot long and weigh half a kilo. Bafflingly, they compare this to “the size of a squash” rather than, well, a Subway sandwich (or a foot, providing it’s an industry standard foot which presumably is Zac Efron’s or something). And the weight? “A packet of wholewheat dried pasta.” Which, oh my, is deeply confusing because surely if you’re buying pasta in 500g packets then the type of pasta doesn’t matter.

  3. Attempting to find other things weighing 500g led me to this deeply unhelpful Quora question from which I freely deduce that half of humanity is stupid, and half is deliberately annoying.

  4. Back to the NHS, because more importantly week 23 is when they decide to tell you that breastfeeding will burn around 300 calories a day. Which isn’t the exciting bit, it’s that (in line with their other comparators, see weeknotes passim) this is “equivalent to a breakfast burrito followed by a choc cherry popcorn cake”.

  5. I was momentarily surprised that breakfast burrito is common enough in the UK for the NHS to compare things to it, but then utterly startled by “choc cherry popcorn cake”. Which…what even is that?

  6. Turns out they made it up.

  7. You can use sultanas instead of cherries.

  8. No word on whether you call them “choc sultana popcorn cakes”, or maybe “sultana choc cherry popcorn cakes”.

  9. I know that there are other people out there because a tendril from a balcony plant has made its way into sight from my flat.

  10. Although maybe they’re just simulated, like the sounds from next door and the hoovering that I can hear sometimes.

  11. The builders moving enormous amounts of earth across the street are probably real.

Stay safe. Wear your mask. Try to look at faces of other people like they’re the same species of you. Try it; it’s increasingly hard.