planet gareth : poems : an exposition on the uses of cabbages

An Exposition on the Uses of Cabbages

Sit while I sing you a fanciful song,
Which tells of the cabbage's lore.
It's not that exciting and not very long,
For the cabbage is often a bore.

How best to picture this much-maligned fruit
That has troubled the wisest of sages?
It is leafy and green and yet looks rather cute
When it's squashed in a book with large pages.

Fitted with wheels on its sides, it becomes
The most truly extraordinary car.
And when covered in tinsel and circled by plums,
It resembles a rather small star.

The cabbage was never the smartest of fruits,
But its uses outnumber its brains.
The leaves can be used to make edible suits,
And the stalk for unblocking the drains.

I hope you have learned of the cabbage's way,
And recall it if salads are bleak.
But now you should leave, for I fear, if you stay,
I will tell you the tale of the leek.


"Congratulations on becoming Grandparents" was my wish to Clare for her birthday in 2000, along with the desire to increase her cabbagely knowledge. (And yes, I do know that it's not a fruit!)