A Dog With No Legs
"It's now two o'clock!" a passing train screamed
As the cows all danced and the village hall dreamed,
A man with three earlobes was selling ice-cream
When the dog with no legs wandered by.
Meanwhile, in the school-house, the pupils were learning
To sit still and quiet while their feet were burning,
But that didn't stop all their heads from then turning
To the dog with no legs wand'ring by.
Outside, a man was walking his fish
He had just cleaned his food after eating the dish,
Then he blew out the candles but forgot his wish
Still, the dog with no legs wandered by.
The local cop's cat was just licking his tongue
As a boy lost a ladder and then found a rung,
The French national anthem was not being sung
When the dog with no legs wandered by.
A man with no fingers was playing guitar
To a woman who had just swallowed a car,
The boys with feet burning heard this from afar
But the dog with no legs wandered by.
A pony drove past in a purple Rolls-Royce
It wanted a Limo, but it had no choice,
A lamp-post sang softly in Prince Charles' voice
Yet the dog with no legs wandered by.
In the church, a chair had just married a spoon
A small boy had got sucked into a balloon,
A baby rhino head-butted the moon
And the dog with no legs wandered by.
A flying green wardrobe had started to bellow
At a small violin which was playing the 'cello,
It said, "Please stop that racket, now there's a good fellow"
While the dog with no legs wandered by.
The spoon was now worried, it had had a scare
It had just seen a table run off with his chair,
A bald man then stopped, washed, and back-combed his hair
And the dog with no legs wandered by.
This is the last verse, the last one, at last!
A man mowed his sandwiches, then ate the grass,
A passing giraffe said, "Look this is a farce!"
And the dog with no legs wandered off.