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Goth

I am not a goth. I am a metaller.

Asylum - London based Christian Goth community

Writing bad goth poetry

Below I have taken the example of the well known song "Happy Birthday" to illustrate the three easy steps.


1. Take all happy / joyful / upbeat words, and make them darker.
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday dear Eleanor
Happy birthday to you
Dismal birthday to you
Dark birthday to you
Bad birthday dear Eleanor
Bad birthday to you

2. Get rid of all unnessary short linking words, e.g. the, a, and.

Dismal birthday to you
Dark birthday to you
Bad birthday dear Eleanor
Bad birthday to you
 Dismal birthday
Dark birthday
Bad birthday Eleanor
Bad birthday

3. Be obscure (use a thesaurus).

Dismal birthday
Dark birthday
Bad birthday Eleanor
Bad birthday
Dismal spawning time
Sinister originating period
Adverse natal generation listening one
Miserable earth revolution naissance


See how easy it is! Below is a poem I did as a challenge from a friend. James suggested I attempt to write bad goth poetry on the subject of a girl who was sad because her boyfriend had gone to a techno-goth rave in Germany. I think we can all agree that bad goth poetry makes the world a better place...

Untitled
Met on fire, fell so hard
She was sun and he was night
Fear makes strangers all discard
Across the water he took flight
So will he now be coming back,
For love's desire was easy bought
He went to place of forrests black
And left her with the taste of salt

Serpents bite will make you blind, I tell you now my name ist ein

 Rites of spring make young flesh mortal
Stillness here is the device
Now she stands in death immortal
Petrified from sea and ice.
For a thousand years without her sight
Are but as yesterday when it is past,
And as a watcher in the night,
Medusa's child has peace at last
Waiting empty watching waves
Ripples carry imagined rings
But can she trust the child of raves
Disrupted by butterflies wings
Storms may gather outward bound
To waste their rage on water deep
She will wait until he's found
His will to break or promise keep

Serpents bite will make you blind, I tell you now my name ist ein