I'm not very good at socially awkward situations. Avoidance is always preferable to confrontation in these circumstances. So, on the last night, when my not so secret admirer had promised to reveal himself to me, I went out. Well not very far out, I didn't have anything much to do, so I just went round the corner to my mate's house. At about 9:10, the appointed time as per the last poem, we went down the shops, just to make certain we were nowhere in the area.

Unfortunately, my tactic of avoidance did not go quite as planned. Upon calling at my house to find me not in, my admirer enquired of my mother as to where he might find me, and horror of horrors, she told him!. Similarly, Angie's mum told him we were 'down the shops', and, since he had brought his mates along for back up, they cruised around in the car until they spotted us.

Upon doing so, my admirer got out of the car and headed towards us, leaving his mates to drive up and down the road gawping out of the window like idiots. Now, what my admirer didn't know, was that the reason I had gone for the avoidance tactic was my complete inability to turn anybody down nicely. It's the awkardness thing again, I just don't know how to express disinterest without being rude. His opening line of "So, what do you think?" was therefore responded to with an "Um....".

But wait, he gave me a get out clause with his next line, "Just say if you don't like me". Surely my difficulties are resolved? Not so, in a desire to get the whole unfortunate episode over and done with I respond as promptly and efficiently as possible: "I don't like you". Abashed he went back to his mates, leaving me thinking that there must have been someway I could have better handled it, but that at least it was over. Or was it?

Top Tips

1. Okay, so you go round to her house, having already told her the time and date you are going to appear, and she's not there. What do you think this signifies? Further more, if upon trying her friend's place, just in case, you are told they have gone down to the shop, just think a minute. Could anything at the corner shop have been so important they couldn't have delayed for five minutes? Is it just perhaps a tiny bit possible that she didn't want to have to speak to you? Hmmm? 2. On a similar note (different guy but you'll spot some similarities), if a girl arranges to have a friend with her when she meets you, this is one thing. If a girl arranges to have her brother there, she is not interested. Don't say to her that you didn't get a chance to talk properly with her brother there. She is well aware of it. You now look clueless as well as rejected.