A Cat With No Ears
'Twas the night after Christmas, and all through the flat,
Not a teaspoon was stirring; that should have been that,
But the cupboard door opened and, sat on the mat,
The cat with no ears listened hard.
A book with no pages was not being read,
Men buttered their hands having misplaced the bread,
A feverish duvet was tucked up in bed
And the cat with no ears listened hard.
An elephant trumpeted loud on its flute,
"The mountains are purple! Watch out!" cried a mute,
A tree did a tango and looked rather cute,
But the cat with no ears listened hard.
A clown with no arms had been juggling a ball
For a man with no bricks who was building a wall,
The talkative hamster said nothing at all,
Yet the cat with no ears listened hard.
A fish in the street had been counting its arms,
It had got up to three, then succumbed to the charms
Of a five-stringed bassoon with a passion for Brahms
As the cat with no ears listened hard.
A flock of sheep marched past in green plastic macs
To the aid of a candle in need of some wax,
A self-conscious pavement fell down its own cracks,
Still the cat with no ears listened hard.
The dog with no legs was just scratching its back
As the hay tied the farmer's wife up in a stack,
A moose fantasised about being a yak,
While the cat with no ears listened hard.
A flamboyant kettle was on harpsichord,
It had first tried piano, but got a bit bored,
A penguin yelled "Fire!" but was largely ignored
Though the cat with no ears listened hard.
A careless settee had been hit by a bus,
It had lost a few springs but said, "Don't make a fuss,
For a man with three buttocks, that could be a plus!"
And the cat with no ears listened hard.
Again, it's the last verse, and soon time to cease,
The passing giraffe had come back and cried, "Peace!
If you don't stop this soon I shall call the police!"
So the cat with no ears stopped listening.